Tuesday, October 31, 2006

"Sacred Marriage - What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?"

"Lowered Expectations" was a Saturday Night Live skit in the past. It spoofed all the self help, I'm happy, your happy stuff that was going around back then. But, its applicable now, without the spoofing, when you think about your role in your marriage. It's definately something I'm working on, lowering my expectations. Not of me, but what I expect out of Brandi.

I have a tendancy to get upset with Brandi or with a situation when the issue or scenario doesn't go exactly as I expected it to go. (Stop laughing...) So, what I'm working on is lowering my expectations. See, I have discovered that I don't always hold myself to the high standard that I hold Brandi and others! OUCH!

The book by Gary Thomas called "Sacred Marriage", really helped me get in this direction. In a round about way, it let me know that Brandi isn't messing up, she's just giving me the opportunity to be more Christlike. She provides situations that test whether or not I respond with love, mercy & grace. Then I figured out that I haven't arrived at perfection yet and I do my part in presenting Brandi with opportunities to practice being Christlike. (Seriously, it ain't funny...)

So, what if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy? How are we doing? I realized that Brandi will help me on my way to being Christlike the most because I hang out with her the most. I've also discovered that adding Jada will TRIPLE my opportunities to be Christlike! YIKES! I outta be walking on water by Spring! (Just kidding, of course).

I'm glad the bible makes it clear that its a long road to Sanctification and its not expected the moment we're saved. Sometimes, I can't even see the end of the road to Sanctification, but we have to keep on walking that road. I recommend that book to help you on the way.

Just found this article from "Focus onthe Family" that does a better job of expressing what I just tried.


At 9:50 AM, Blogger FeatherIron said...

One day a soon to be engaged girl asked me what the secret was to a good marriage. I told her to "expect" nothing. I got a swift rebuke from my other friend that was with us- "How can you say that? I expect great things from my marriage and I think we can expect that as Christians".. I had to explain that honestly, I was just praying Dean wouldn't wind up to be a hateful jerk or cheat on me but I never expected anything. I have always said we can hope, we can want but to expect another human being to act or be a certain way will only bring us pain and disappoitment. Over 12 year Dean and I have ticked each other off, made each other blisfully happy and saddened each other many times BUT all that has just made us more like Jesus. I do believe marriage is here to make us more like him, not to make us happy. The great thing is we find happieness when we understand that.


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