Monday, January 22, 2007


One of my goals in ministering to premarital couples is ministering to needs. Every now and then, we see the need to encourage individuals to rededicate their lives to Christ. Lately, it has really become one of our focal points of encouragement. There is no better foundation to start a marriage on than the foundation of Christ. It starts individually in the hearts of each person. Beginning or strengthening our relationship with Christ could very well be the best prescription for any problem we are facing. Not only for engaged couples, but for couples in crisis also. What better advice to give to engaged couples or couples in crisis than to renew a relationship with Christ? Renewing our relationship with Christ will equip and encourage us to handle situations and crisis witht the right spirit. Starting there opens doors for us. Starting there will create a trickle down effect.

My vision for The Marriage Ministry at Healing Place Church would be to encourage individuals to establish a foundation relationship with Christ. That foundation will strengthen us individually to be a better husband or wife and as a product, a good father or mother. There is no better way to teach and encourage your children in the ways of God than to be the spouse God called us to be. Children are watching us, they are learning and they are mirroring and mimmicking us. The number one factor to determine what a child thinks about marriage is what they see growing up.

I believe it is futile to try to raise and teach a child without establishing our own personal walk with Christ. I believe it is also futile to try to establish a Godly marriage without getting equipped by the Holy Spirit by establishing our own personal walk with Christ.

It all starts with us, as individuals and Christ. This is where we should start when ministering to people. Because in reality, it isn't us as individuals who are counseling. It is really the Holy Spirit ministering THROUGH US. We are not the source for the people God places before us. We should be directing them to The Source. Sure, initially they will see the Holy Spirit working through us and I believe its our responsibility to show them how to plug into The Source. They may plug into us temporarily, but sooner rather than later, they need to know how to get plugged in directly to the Spirit of God.

Friday, January 12, 2007


I have discovered a new motivation for how I live life. It doesn't replace any of my other motivations, its just an additional one to add to the list. More and more I am becoming more aware of my parenthood status and what it means to Jada. Not really my parenthood status, but the life I lead and the decisions I make. She's gonna have a front row seat for my life. How I walk with God, how I am as a husband to Brandi, how I am as an employee at my work, how I treat my family and friends, all of it. That's the main source of her learning as she grows up: My Life.

That's pretty intimidating. My actions from now on will have a direct effect on Jada's personality and character. Put into perspective, it should be my 3rd ranked motivation. My first motivation is to please God. Not to earn His love, He loves me just as I am, always has. But, to please God by fulfilling my calling and using what He's given my for His Kingdom's work. Next, I want to please Brandi. I want to be all God wants me to be because she relies on me as a husband alot. Finally, my newest motivation is about how my life will affect Jada's.

I guess since this is a new one, it's in the spotlight and I'm focusing on it. Actually, thinking of my responsibility for her has caused me to evaluate and improve my responsibilities to God and my wife. The Good news is that they will take care of each other. My obedience to God will cause me to be a better husband. By being a better husband, I will be giving Jada stability and self confidence she needs as she watches me and Brandi and learns what a Godly marriage is supposed to look like.

Maybe the greatest lesson she'll learn is actually when we mess up! She's learn its OK to mess up, as long as we handle those situations with the mercy and grace that God gave us as an example. Maybe she'll learn to love, if we love. Maybe she'll learn to be humble, if we are humbled. Maybe she'll learn to forgive, if we forgive. Hopefully, she'll learn to trust God and follow His ways, if we do.

I've just been reading alot of case studies about the effects of different things on children and I've been seeing some effects of everyday life on children with family, friends and co-workers. I'm just realizing how much my life will affect Jada's life.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Lifetime Guarantee

Started the new year with a new book. Lifetime Guarantee by Bill Gillham. This book was recommended to me and it has really shaken me in a good way. I just want to share a quick paragraph from the intro:
"The problem is that you have yet to discover that the Christian life is not difficult to live - it's impossible to live! .... God never intended that you be able to live the Christian life at all. The harder you try to live your life for God, the more frustrated you'll become... That is precisely the position of weakness and deperation from which the Holy Spirit wants to teach you the reason Jesus came into you.... Jesus is the only one who ever has lived the Christian life, and He's the only one who can live it today - through you!"
Needless to say, with the new addition into the house, we have encountered new challenges and especially new tests. Which, of course, has revealed some opportunities for improvement. So much for celebrating a long season of waiting on God and relaxing after Jada arrived! No, He couldn't give us a break. He just commenced to STRETCHING us even more!
So, with the new season of parenthood comes new challenges and areas we need to work on and this book in its first 75 pages has helped me deal with it all a little better. Can't wait to finish the book.